Questioning rules is fun — and actually breaking them is exciting and liberating As a society, we have a lot of rules around engagement rings. But do they really serve us?
For example, you might feel like your engagement ring is “supposed to be” a diamond. But what if it could be created with blue green sapphires instead? You’ve heard that your ring should come as a surprise, but what if you feel the deep desire to communicate with your man about engagement? Here are three rules to think about breaking.
Rule # 1: “It has to be a surprise”
People often assume that the whole proposal — from the setting, to the words he speaks, to the ring he presents — has to come as a complete surprise. This “rule” probably comes from romantic comedies and television. After all, surprises make for great entertainment!
But when you really start talking to married couples, you realize that they had many discussions about engagement, rings, commitment and marriage before the proposal actually goes down.
Rule # 2: “It has to be a diamond”
Have you heard the story about the woman who cut off the end of every roast that she cooked? One day she discovered the meaning behind the “tradition”: Her great-great-grandmother didn’t have the right sized baking pan!
Diamonds are kind of like that. The tradition dates back to the 1947 De Beers marketing campaign, ““A Diamond Is Forever”. Before that, all kinds of gems were used as statements of commitment during the engagement period.
Sapphire rings were a standard, and lately, they’ve been coming back in a big way. We also see opals, rubies, emeralds, and rings that contain stunning combinations of stones.
Rule # 3: “He has to spend two months of his salary”
The amount that your partner spends on your ring is in no way correlated with how much he loves you. Instead, it reflects your values as a couple.
If you and your man value family and tradition, he might pass down a family heirloom instead of spending anything on a ring. If you both value spontaneity, he might propose with whatever he can get his hands on. Chances are, you’ll love the quirks that are apparent in his choice.
Start talking to married couples that you look up to. You’ll likely notice that they let the rules fly out of the window, and did what was right for them. Likewise, you don’t have to feel limited by constricting rules. Follow your heart and do what is best for your relationship.